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Funny, Corny, & Cheesy Pick Up Lines


A big list of some of the best funny pick up lines. 

You know, it’d be a lot easier for me to sweep you off your feet if you stood up…

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

“Do you know how I got these guns?” … Points to biceps while flexing… “Lifting children out of poverty.”

If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cutecumber.

How much does a polar bear have to weigh to break the ice?

Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.

Do you have a library card? Because I’m checking you out.

Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You’ve got fine written all over you.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!

Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.

Baby, you’re the next contestant in the game of love.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

Hey! Don’t walk into that building. The sprinklers might go off!

Can I have directions? … “To where?” … To your heart.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh, never mind. It’s just a sparkle

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Hey, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Are your feet tired? cuz you’ve been running through my mind all day.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk by again?

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

Excuse me, I am a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I found the woman of my dreams?

Do you have have a band aid? I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

You are so sweet you are giving me a toothache.

Do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

Excuse me miss, are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here.

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Are you a magnet? cuz im attracted to you.

I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

You must be in a wrong place. The Miss Universe contest is over there.

I know I don’t have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.

I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true.

If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

Hey baby you’re so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. You do stand a chance with me.

Hey you dropped something… What? … My jaw.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m not the best looking guy at the bar, but I’m the only one talking to you.

If it weren’t for the darn sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever.

Damn girl! You make me want to get a job!

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

If you were president of the United States, your name would be Babe-braham Lincoln

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Someone farted, let’s get out of here.

Say baby. You’re pretty. I’m pretty. What say we go back to my place and stare at each other for a while.

Spoon me like your favorite ice cream.

Are you a beaver? Cuz dam.

If I had 4 quarters to give to the 4 prettiest girls in the world, you would have a dollar.

Are you my big toe? Cuz I’d bang you on every piece of furniture I own.

I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

I wish we were shoelaces, so together we can be knotty.

You: There’s 20 letters in the English alphabet, right? Other person: No, there’s 26. You: Oh, I forgot U R A Q T.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Is your mom a baker, ’cause she made u a cutie pie!

I think your eyes are the same color as my bed sheets… We should go check!

Your parents must have been drug dealers because you’re dope.

If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fiiiine.

Do you have a jersey? Because I’m gonna need your name and number.

Person sneezes… You say “I would say god bless you, but it looks like he already did.”

Baby you’re like a traffic ticket… Fine, Fine, Fine.

Did you just fart because you blew me away!

I’m pretty and you’re cute so together we would be pretty cute.

Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Excuse me, but you dropped something back there” (What?) “This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate… Well, here I am!

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

You know, Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment…Want to help prove him wrong?

Your lips look so lonely…. 5a8 Would they like to meet mine?

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

(As she is leaving) Hey aren’t you forgetting something? (What?) Me!

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.

I’m Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?

If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.

Are you Willy Wonka’s daughter, ‘cuz you look sweet and delicious.

If you were a transformer, you’d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that’s right, we’ve only met in my dreams.

Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, “What are you doing?” You respond: “Yep! Made in heaven!”

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the 5a8 human body? Not in my case.

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.

(Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.

Pinch me. [Why?] You’re so fine I must be dreaming.

if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath!

Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are sooo sweet!

I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but… I’m Batman!

You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you’re the bomb.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’.

When God made you, he was showing off.

You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Let’s make like a fabric softener and ‘Snuggle

I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.

If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

(Put your fingers on the other’s nipples) Hey, here’s (name), comin’ at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?

How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice… Hi, I’m (insert name here).

Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get “love” and “lust” mixed up.

Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?…Why?] Because I need your name and number.

Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick ‘Do you come here often?’, ‘What’s your sign?’, or

‘Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.’?

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?

Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had totell you.

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.

Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

I sneezed because God blessed me with you.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!

So, what do you do for a living besides always 5a8 making all the men excited and warm all over?

Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.

Were your parents Greek Gods, ’cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!

Wow! Are those real?

Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

You are the reason men fall in love.

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

You should be someone’s wife.

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!

You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.

If I had a rose for every time I th 10f8 ought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.

There must be a light switch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!

Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

Do you bleach your teeth? ‘Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let’s go prove it.

Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.

Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh… you just look hot to me.

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!

You are a 9 – you’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

You’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

I can’t believe I’ve been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find ‘The One’, all I have time to say is “goodbye”.

Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt – my eyes!

This isn’t a beer belly, It’s a fuel tank for my love machine.

I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.

Here’s the key to my house, my car… and my heart.

if we shared a garden, I’d put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

Do you have any sunscreen? ‘Cause you are burning me up!

See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.

Stare at girl . (“What’re you staring at?”)

You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.

You’re hotter than donut grease.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world.

If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.

If you could put a price tag on beauty you’d be worth more than Fort Knox.

I must be dancing with the devil, because you’re hot as hell.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

If you were a steak you would be well done.

It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] ‘Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!

Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.


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