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101 Funny Pick Up Lines

Funny, corny, cute, and cheesy pick up lines. Do not use these in real life! That is unless you want a good laugh.

funny pick up lines1. Do you have a library card? Because I’m checking you out.

2. I’ll give you five seconds to give me your number or you can forget about going out with me forever.

3. Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

4. Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You’ve got fine written all over you.

5. Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.

6. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!

7. As she’s leaving…. Hey aren’t you forgetting something? Her: What? … Me!

8. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.

9. Did it hurt? when you fell from heaven.

10. Baby, you’re the next contestant in the game of love.

11. Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?

12. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

13. Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!

14. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

15. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

16. Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?

17. Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!

18. Do you know karate? ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.

19. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

20. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.

21. Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?

22. Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

23. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

24. Are your feet tired? ‘cuz youve been running through my mind all day.

25. Are you from Tennessee? ‘cuz your the only ten I see.

26. You must be a parking ticket, because you’ve got fine written all over you.

27. Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?

28. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

29. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

30. If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

31. Was your dad a baker? ‘cause you’ve got the nicest set of buns i’ve ever seen

32. Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

33. Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I found the woman of my dreams?

34. Do you have have a band aid? I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

35. Excuse me, I am a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

36. The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

37. You are so sweet you are giving me a toothache.

38. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

39. Do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world.

40. Do you have the time. . . . to write my number down?

41. Life without you would be like a broken pencil…pointless.

42. See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

43. My magic watch says that you don’t have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

44. If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

45. Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?

46. Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

47. Excuse me, I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your house?

48. Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

49. If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

50. You turn my software into hardware!

51. I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

52. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

53. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

54. If you were a burger at McDonald’s you’d be the McGorgeous.

55. If you were a booger I would pick you first.

56. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

57. Hi, I have big feet.

58. Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

59. What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too!

60. Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

61. You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.

62. Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?

63. I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true

64. Are you a magnet? cuz im attracted to you

65. Baby you’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems.

66. Do you have the time? (she/he gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down.

67. Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.

68. I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!

69. If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

70. I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.

71. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

72. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

73. I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

74. I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.

75. You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

76. If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

77. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

78. Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

79. Hey baby you’re so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?

80. Which one of the Spice girls are you?

81. Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!

82. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

83. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

84. Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

85. What’s your sign?

86. Where have you been all my life?

87. “Excuse me, do you have the time?” You: “Do you have the energy?”

88. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into the wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

89. If I got a nickel for everyone I’ve met who is as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

90. Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?

91. Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are HOT!

92. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

93. (Look at his / her shirt label) When they say, “What are you doing?”, you say, “Checking to see if you were made in heaven.”

94. Excuse me; I think you owe me a drink.” [She says, "Why?"] “Because when I saw you from across the room I dropped mine. It was a rum and Coke, and I’m [your name].

95. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

96. Can I have fries with that shake!

97. You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.

98. I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.

99. Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!

100. If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.

101. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Lolriot’s big list of funny pick up lines.

Have some more? Post your funny pick up lines in the comments.



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341 comments on “101 Funny Pick Up Lines
    • SAMANTHA on said:

      YOUR RETARTED DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL? I THINK YOU MEANT TO SAY "THIS PAGE IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD" AND WHO PUTS SYMBOLS AND LETTERS IN WORDS???? GET A LIFE

        • NENENE on said:

          NENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENENNENENENENENNENENENENENENNENENENENENENENENNENEN

  1. louislover5 on said:

    theres one but its not a pick up line its pretty funny its: (did it hurt when u fell from heaven cause ur face is pretty fucked up!) its my favorite one

  2. tyler on said:

    let go back to my place and play checker, chess, and poker ( got to say checker chess and poker her kinda fast cause it sounds like check her chest and poke her)

  3. Novocop on said:

    Do you like dragons….Because in a few minutes I'll be dragin' these balls across your face.
    Do you work at subway… because you just gave me a foot-long.

  4. michael on said:

    there's something on your ass!!! (what) my eyes/ (spill something on her) oh I'm so sorry come to my place and ill help you change/ me, you, my place now (ok) oh, you wanna go to a party? (yeah where) its in your mouth and im obviously coming/ (give her the bruce li finger (come here)) she comes you say I knew if I fingered you long enough you'de come

  5. your mom on said:

    bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmms

  6. Dewald on said:

    I don’t normally date models but here's my number.

    Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal you're heart, and you'll steal mine.

    It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

    Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back

    I've been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?

    I must be lost… because I see paradise.

    If women were trophies, you'd be first place!

    Our brake up is worse then the traffic in New York … Can't move on

    I can hold my liquor but kissing you would make me weak at the knees.

    Are we related? Do you want to be?

    I've had such an off week but seeing you just turns me on.

    You're hand looks heavy let me hold it for you

    If you are advertising then I'm buying

    So, do you have a new years resolution, I’m looking at mine right now.

    Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

    Kissing is a language of love, so how about a conversation?

    I'm going outside to make out… care to join me?

    "They say a picture tells 1,000 words but when I look at yours all I see is 3, I Love You"

    If LOVE was written on every grain of sand in the Sahara Desert that still doesn't equal my love for you.

    I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

    Are you Google? Because I've just found what I’ve been searching for.

    Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.

    You're so hot you would make the devil sweat

    It's not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!

    Bond….James Bond

    Do you have an eraser? Because I can't get you out of my mind.

    Damn girl, I thought diamonds were pretty until I laid my eyes on you!

    I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?

    If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

    Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you're da bomb.

    Is it hot in here or is it just you?

    Did you just come out of the oven? Because you're hot

    You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache.

    Are you sure you're not an alien because you've just abducted my heart!

    are you a cop? [No] Cause you're America's Finest

    What size shoe you wear babygirl? I'm gonna guess size sexy!

  7. "Are you from subway because you just gave me a foot-long"
    "Do you work at UPS because I could have sworn you were checking out my package"
    "If I flip a coin, what are the chances of getting head"
    "Did you sit in some sugar, because you got a sweet A$$"

  8. TRES P on said:

    **DRESSES UP IN A BATMAN SUIT** Damn you've got a nice ass! (she smacks you) Sorry, its been a while since the bat's been in the cave if ya know what I mean.

  9. You cannot rely on pick up lines to pick up women all the time. In dating , confidence is the most important. Once you build up your confidence what you say and who you are will be more congruent. At Kama Lifestyles, we coach you to meet and connect with beautiful women and achieve your potential in dating. We work on your building your confidence and give you the ability to approach any woman anywhere in a natural relaxed way. Please check my website for more information. http://www.kamalifestyles.co.uk

  10. i got laid 101 times cause of these! just kidding i get bitches without these gay ass pick up lines. the only part that made me laugh was thinkin that all these ppl actually thought these pickup lines would get them laid!!!! haha all of you are virgins!

  11. Garrobal on said:

    That was some funny stuff. I was crying. I thought of one that seems as lame as all of those, here it is may need some rewording: Hey, what are doing in here? You are so hot your smoking and the sign says you have to do that outside….yeah I know it's lame but should fit right in….Gary

  12. you make my floppy disk a hard drive, is your name wifi ? cuz im feelin a connection

    lets play game. you be mcdonalds and ill be burger king.
    ill have it my way and youll be lovin it

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