I love going to the movies. Who doesn’t, right? I almost find it impossible to picture my life without it (pardon the pun). Going to the movies is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Especially because my local theater serves wine, beer, and greasy food. Unlike many people it does not bother me to go to watch a flick alone. I will quite happily watch the latest action movie accompanied by nothing more than a bag of buttered popcorn covered in jalapenos with an ice cold beer.
While I remain largely unperturbed about the company with me while watching a film, what I am very much concerned with is the people around me and how they affect my overall viewing experience. I am very particular about what I believe to be the appropriate behavior whilst in the theater and the following points are the things that get me particularly flustered.
1) The love drunk couples. We’ll start with this simply because it is possibly the most universally annoying occurrence within the realms of a movie theater. We understand you are a couple and you love each other. We understand you want to show affection and care towards each other. There is nothing wrong with this. Just do it somewhere else and do not pollute my movie environment with constant giggles, strange noises and obnoxious conversation.
2) Late full family arrivals. Once the trailers are done and dusted, the film has started. In my humble opinion what gives you the right to waltz in with your 5 person party and ruin the viewing experience for all those people who have actually bothered to come on time. Arriving late and disrupting my viewing experience is one thing but then having the audacity to tell me to “move up one” is just a ludicrous notion to me. I will most certainly not be moving up one. I arrived ten minutes before the trailers began to locate this very perfect seat. My butt has now comfortably adjusted to the texture of the seat-there will absolutely be no moving up.
3) Exiting during the film. I completely comprehend the notion of having a desire to empty your bladder or really needing to drop a deuce. What I do not understand is the concept of doing it halfway during a film! Why not go to the toilet BEFORE the film? Why not go and get your popcorn or hot dog before the films starts. I strongly feel it’s just not fair to get up and walk through all the other people causing havoc just because you couldn’t take the responsibility to use the loo or getting snacks before coming in. Ridiculous – take control of your business before for the movie foolio.
4) The talking friend. Whilst I often go alone there is the odd occasion when I will be swayed by a friend to along with them. When this is the case what I cannot stand is that very friend who was so eager for me to come and watch the film with them to continue to talk and ask elementary questions about the film. No I do not know what is going to happen next- I didn’t direct this film funnily enough. I am watching the same thing as you are at the same time. Perhaps you should stop talking, watch the film and ….FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF.
5) The crop duster. I can never seem to figure out who it is, but there is always that one person who thinks letting one rip in the dark makes it ok to stink up the theater. Just because nobody can see you doesn’t mean they can’t smell you. This is when it is ok to exit during the movie. Better to be interrupted for a few seconds than be appalled and ready to barf for 10 minutes.